Today was supposed to be a happy day. Why not? It’s Tatay’s 76th birthday! Only thing is, he’s no longer with us anymore. He joined our creator (and hopefully his parents) in heaven on 10th June 2015. 😥
It’s been more than a month now but the pain is still there. Up until now, I still can’t bring myself to look at his pictures. Ang sakit lang kasi talaga. Everytime I remember his face and hear his voice in my head, I feel like my heart is being pricked by a thousand needles. I have never felt this much pain before. And this day makes it harder.
See my post about Tatay’s birthday last year: Tatay’s 75th Birthday
I MISS TATAY SO MUCH.
I miss our phone & Skype conversations, his advices, his kindness, his smile, everything! The only thing that I don’t miss is seeing him in pain. Yes, siguro yun nalang ang consolation namin. He’s been suffering a lot because of his gout arthritis, kidney failure (he goes on dialysis twice a week), etc. Now, he doesn’t have to go thru those anymore. Wala ng pain for him.
Another thing that makes his loss bearable is knowing that he’s in a good place now. We know that he is at peace wherever he is. Tatay will find it too easy to reach heaven’s gate because he surely lived a meaningful and spiritual life. He was loved and respected by everyone. During the funeral, we heard a lot of touching anecdotes about his kindness. It was really heartwarming. The whole family was also overwhelmed by the love and support shown by our relatives, friends, and neighbors. Yes, it was a difficult time, but knowing that we were not alone made such a huge difference. THANK YOU.
For me, probably the best thing that happened in the midst of our grief was the fact that no one had to mourn alone. Everyone in the family was there for each other. For the first time, we selflessly set aside (and hopefully threw away) our differences and stood by each other. We were there AS ONE FAMILY. Tatay would have been very proud to see that. 🙂
There isn’t any worse feeling in the world than that of losing someone you love deeply. But as they say, life goes on. We have to move on no matter how devastated we are. We have to continue living our lives in a way that when it’s time for us to leave the earth, we know that somehow, we have touched other people’s lives; and by that, we have made a difference using a legacy (life) God generously entrusted us.
P.S. We were supposed to go home sana for a week-long vacation starting on Thursday, 16th July. We were planning to surprise Tatay and Nanay with a joint birthday party on 19th July (Nanay’s birthday falls on 22nd July). Kaso, hindi na kami umabot 😥
Happy birthday! Masaya ba magbirthday dyan sa heaven?
Don’t worry, we will take good care of Nanay and your jeep. Hehe.
We miss you so much!
I will always love you.